I was emailing a close friend who expressed an interest in starting her own blog. I inserted saved data from my own very recent, scary journey down the dark and windy path of ‘Blog Creation’, and added loads of notes!
At the end of the email in an effort to try and expel some of the fears that had been impeding my own travels on said path, I used the analogy of just shutting her eyes and leaping! There is a vision in my mind of one with one’s eyes closed tight, thumb and forefinger gripping onto one’s nasal apertures for all they are worth, and LEAPING! Knees bent up close to the body, spare arm wrapped around the shins, and going far beyond the diving platform! This to me, is the best way to embark upon a scary journey! Feet first, eyes closed, past the point of no return!
It is a dark, overcast and therefore moonless night. The wind is howling so that waves are formed in the pool and are crashing against the sides of the pool, making abrupt, crashing noises. The water is black, there is no light to make any reflection of anything!
The deep, dark ‘pool’ of unknown-ness, is this pool of making a ‘Blog’… site…website??… thing! It is the pool I find myself floundering around in, trying to settle into a comfortable way forward, a stroke that allows comfortable breathing, progress, and enjoyment. Instead I find myself bobbing up and down, a bit of dog-paddle for a while, then dunked back under with ideas of what I want to be able to do, but with no idea where to head next!
Then I went on to say that it is the most scary thing I have done since…. a long pause, trying to think of something scary that I have achieved… AFS – a year abroad living a family I don’t know?? No!!! The most scary thing I have EVER done, would HAVE to be waking up in hospital with a head injury! Not scary then, but by far the most scary thing I have ever overcome!
A newspaper photo featuring me & my ‘closies’ in intensive care.
When I regained consciousness, the awareness of the situation fell on a very small, closed and dim brain. Meaning that the scary journey seemed entirely normal, and not at all frightening, until much, much later on. And then, over and over for quite some time!
The most scary parts of the journey were the periods of realizing that life as I knew it, was over. Almost 25 years of being who I was, the dreams and ideas, all disintegrated, blown to smithereens because someone else was in a hurry, and pulled out to pass a truck and trailer on a blind corner.
And now I am on this path of my journey! Scary too! With terminology I really don’t understand, and ‘use’ only because I have seen them and have an idea kind of related to what they are referring to. The worst part is that it has cost me $! It is not even the intended outcome for starting down this path! This dark and winding path is only the START of my journey, which will hopefully end up by publishing my first book.
A brilliant newsletter re head injury and TBI info, inserted itself into my path this week… http://www.brainline.org/ check it out! Newsletter 62 was my introduction to this website.