The Most Scary Thing I’ve Done In Years!

I was emailing a close friend who expressed an interest in starting her own blog.  I inserted saved data from my own very recent, scary journey down the dark and windy path of ‘Blog Creation’, and added loads of notes!

At the end of the email in an effort to try and expel some of the fears that had been impeding my own travels on said path, I used the analogy of just shutting her eyes and leaping!  There is a vision in my mind of one with one’s eyes closed tight, thumb and forefinger gripping onto one’s nasal apertures for all they are worth, and LEAPING!  Knees bent up close to the body, spare arm wrapped around the shins, and going far beyond the diving platform!  This to me, is the best way to embark upon a scary journey!  Feet first, eyes closed, past the point of no return!

It is a dark, overcast and therefore moonless night.  The wind is howling so that waves are formed in the pool and are crashing against the sides of the pool, making abrupt, crashing noises.  The water is black, there is no light to make any reflection of anything!

The deep, dark ‘pool’ of unknown-ness, is this pool of making a ‘Blog’… site…website??… thing!  It is the pool I find myself floundering around in, trying to settle into a comfortable way forward, a stroke that allows comfortable breathing, progress, and enjoyment.  Instead I find myself bobbing up and down, a bit of dog-paddle for a while, then dunked back under with ideas of what I want to be able to do, but with no idea where to head next!

Then I went on to say that it is the most scary thing I have done since….  a long pause, trying to think of something scary that I have achieved…  AFS – a year abroad living a family I don’t know??  No!!!  The most scary thing I have EVER done, would HAVE to be waking up in hospital with a head injury!  Not scary then, but by far the most scary thing I have ever overcome!

A newspaper photo featuring me & my ‘closies’ in intensive care.

When I regained consciousness, the awareness of the situation fell on a very small, closed and dim brain.  Meaning that the scary journey seemed entirely normal, and not at all frightening, until much, much later on. And then, over and over for quite some time!

The most scary parts of the journey were the periods of realizing that life as I knew it, was over.  Almost 25 years of being who I was, the dreams and ideas, all disintegrated, blown to smithereens because someone else was in a hurry, and pulled out to pass a truck and trailer on a blind corner.

And now I am on this path of my journey!  Scary too!  With terminology I really don’t understand, and ‘use’ only because I have seen them and have an idea kind of related to what they are referring to.  The worst part is that it has cost me $!  It is not even the intended outcome for starting down this path!  This dark and winding path is only the START of my journey, which will hopefully end up by publishing my first book.

A brilliant newsletter re head injury and TBI info, inserted itself into my path this week…  check it out!  Newsletter 62 was my introduction to this website.

Searching For A ‘Community’

Ok, blog seems to be heading in a direction now, far from running though!  The next rung of this ladder looks like it involves searching for a community looking for an adoptee.

Community Traits Sought  

There has to be people out there somewhere who are in a similar stretch of their own journey to one I traveled.  There has been an ‘incident’, resulting in an altered brain function of someone and their close companions somewhere in the world.  My own ‘closies’ were seeking any information they could get their hands on regarding what on earth they had been thrown into!

Plenty of information was supplied regarding the worst possible scenario, a vegetable like state or close to it, but that didn’t supply much hope.

Out of a coma, through several departments of hospital, lots of stages of return to normality ensued.  A couple of months later and a return home meant I was healed… didn’t it???!! 🙂

Not at all!  Where to now?  What is going on?  What is around the corner? How can I change this?  Why is there no information anywhere?

Has anyone been there?  Does anyone have any answers?  Is there someone asking similar questions?  How does one become like a different person, with different abilities, and different limitations as a working adult and just get on with getting on?

Been there, fumbled along, made mistakes, but find self coming out the other side.  Bobbing on the surface with enough strength to take the occasional stroke, and get enough air to carry on! 🙂

Oh the things there are to learn from!  Some support from someone who knew what was going on would have been most valuable!

Today’s task will be finding out how to search for a community of bloggers from a similar neighbourhood to the one I exist in.  Another aspect of blogging to learn…


P.S.  The first thing I did was google <blogs, head injury> and top of the list was   and their newsletter no. 62

Brain injury Blogs: Voices from People Living with Traumatic Brain Injury


Journal Excerpt 1: Distractibility and Open Gated Brain Function

Distractibility + Open Gated Brain Function

Here is the first page from this section of the Journal called ‘And Yet, Here Go I…’.

Distractibility pg 1

Hopefully the above gives the reader an idea regarding the new way the brain functions.  Every possible distraction can get a hold on your attention and draw it away.  Focusing on one thing at a time becomes difficult, depending on environment.

To learn what types of environments are easiest on the brain in order to function at a level is an important step.  Then you can have more effect on your productivity by managing external factors which contribute to mental fatigue.  Although the more imperative recognition needs to be to realize that there is a problem in maintaining a focus.  Once that has been accomplished, then the problem can be addressed.

Share your thoughts regarding this post!  Leave a comment, please.






This is the start of my ‘blogging career’…  Doin’ it and learning as I go!

It will be baby steps at first as I follow tutorials until I can pick up what exactly they are putting down, and then hopefully I manage to ‘file’ it away in the grey matter for not too far in the future reference to repeat the process until it just happens…

Hello world!

Shock Horror!!  I think my site has finally come to life!

If it is true, then that means I have managed to crack it!  The frustration can finally wind down…  Now all I need to do is to learn how to move on and become proficient at this blogging game.

Oh, the ideas I have had about things I can post!  I have even thought of things that I might be able to make ‘links’ to in my posts – although I have no idea about how to ‘link’ anything to something else yet…

The only problem so far – is that due to the difficulty I have been experiencing launching this site, my focus has been very narrow.  I haven’t been noting ideas down about future posts at all.  They have been flitting in and then out of my ‘open gated‘ brain.  Thereby distracting me from the ‘job at hand‘.

You might be wondering why the two phrases are italics in the paragraph above, good spotting!  It has taken me about 3 yrs, but I have finally completed the text for a sort of a journal of my journey from invalid to here.  The book is the reason I have persevered through this blogging phase of the trek.  There will be excerpts from the book in this blog in an attempt to help others.  Recognizing the new symptoms which are a result of the head injury, is an important part of overcoming them.

Stick around to see more if you or someone you love is like me, and going through the all too common challenges of coming through a brain altering experience.  These might be brought on by a stroke, concussion, some head injury, or a Traumatic Brain Injury.  There is HOPE!  A bit of hard work, a lot of perseverance, many good laughs, and eventually it becomes like a sort of adventure!